I'm single, sort of. I mean, I still attended the "Single Ladies" event with my church and I'd file my taxes as someone who is single. However, I
am dating someone. So...can I just openly admit that sometimes its just plain awkward to be in such a transitional time as woman attempting to live a Godly life? No one ever talks about this, but it's driving me crazy! And before I'm overloaded with much appreciated advice, let me preface what I'm about to say with this: I am soaking in this time, and taking it one step at a time. I am not wishing beautiful moments away, nor running towards or away particular seasons of life. However, I am hoping to discover the exact purpose in this season that seems to hold no real solid place on paper or even in life, sometimes.
So, I know (in theory) the roles of a wife. And God radically changed my life with the joys of singleness from 1 Cor 7 - as a single woman I am only concerned about the things of the Lord, it says! However, once I marry my interests are divided and I'm concerned with how to please my spouse. Paul goes on quite a bit about this, feel free to read for yourself! Soooo...where am I now? Are my interests only half divided? Or I've only been dating a couple of months, so are they just maybe 1/4 divided? And the other 3/4 of me dedicated and concerned with the Lord? Seriously, where do I even fit?
Not even to mention following and leading and submitting! The man, in a dating relationship, is learning to lead. Okay, I guess I don't need to say "man". I'll just throw out names, it is my blog anyway. Spencer, Spencer is the man!! Hoooooooorah for the loving and caring and compassionate and intelligent and amaaazing Spencer! Alright, done. So, Spencer's learning to lead, and I'm learning to trust him in this. I love when he stops a conversation to say we need to seek God and pray first. Or when he says what he thinks is a right reaction regarding matter A, B or C. But....when I disagree - where do I fall on the spectrum of a sassy-Beyonce or a gentle wife?
On Spencer's side: Christ laid down His life for the church, literally. And now He asks that the husband love his wife in the same way. Which is a pretty lofty thing to ask, to love like the Man who loved us enough to leave His Father and home where He was King, and walk the earth as a humble and lowly man. Alright-point taken, but still... Spencer's a boyfriend, not a husband. And in return, the wife's call and (re)action is to allow the man to lead and guide her just as Jesus does us. WHOA. Okay, first of all: hard! And second of all (and back to my many questions): How does that apply now? I'm not promised anything, and I'm not in the union of a marriage... there's not a ring on it. So, do I half follow? Do I follow only when I think its best and safe? Do we go back to our fractions and I follow 1/4 of the time? I mean, okay - I'm being a
bit sarcastic here, but honestly - what is the balance when you're dating in a way that is purposed towards marriage, but you're not there yet? Dating isn't natural, and its not "Biblical" in the sense that it's not talking about or required. The routes to marriage change with each and every generation in their big or small ways. So, this is what our culture and society has chosen: How do we master it in a 100% Godly way (besides the obvi's like no sex and no screaming at the top of your lungs at eachother)?
Alright, sooooo....I don't know if anyone's ever pondered these things, but I'm guessing (or atleast hoping) others have - but I've never heard it talked about it. Two cents, anyone?
