I was recently told by a wise couple (John and Kim for you Wisconsin folk) my lack of enthusiasm towards marriage and children right now is perfectly fine, a good thing even. I won't expound, but I am now at complete peace with keeping thoughts of wedding bells and screaming babies at an arm's distance. With this new weight lifted (I was feeling insane for having such bizarre wishes against marriage...) I've been able to enjoy thoughts of a time spent with God/me venturing into the world and accomplishing things I can't accomplish as a married woman! My most recent thought was this:
If a married woman spent time longing to go back to her single years or wishing her husband to die, her husband would be at the very LEAST incredibly offended. What would these thoughts say of the husband (or reverse the roles if you're a man) if she wants to go to a time where he is absent and no longer a part of who she is or her daily life. If a woman dreams of these days, clearly its reflective of a damaged marriage, negative mindset and/or a horrible spouse. Bottom line: if a married woman focuses on her wishes of living a single lifestyle, she is revealing her lowly thoughts of her husband.
Now let's view this in a different light. Singles often sit and complain and focus on a desired time of marriage (if not spoken aloud, its thought about in many cases). Now, marriage is BEAUTIFUL and a GENIUS picture of Christ's love; it's a serious relationship most of us will likely venture into in due time. However, we are called to not awaken or arouse love UNTIL it is time-God has great purpose in this. We are called to guard our heart for it is the well-spring of life. And we are told it is actually BETTER to be single than to be married because once we enter marriage our interests are DIVIDED and we are no longer able to surrender our hearts/minds/thoughts solely to God.
Okay...let's put all of these things together: What are we saying of our Creator when we are fixated on marriage instead of our current time with Him? Are we saying God is not good enough to satisfy? Are we actually revealing we don't appreciate this one time in our life that we can live beautifully alone with our Saviour without the massive distractions of a family? ...This is what it seems to be.
Look, I'm not saying I've lived my life this way-I most certainly have not. And while I regret learning this at (almost) 23, it will now mark my life. Also, I'm not saying its wrong/sinful to like members of the opposite sex. I mean, hello...that's how you eventually enter marriage-which God HAS indeed called a lot of us to. Nor am I implying one shouldn't talk to boys (or girls if you're a guy), come on-that's just weird. You DO actually have to form friendships with people to eventually date/marry.
I am simply stating this: check your heart and mind. Reflect on what your focus may be saying of your thoughts towards God compared to your future spouse. Which are you valuing more? What is your attitude towards your state of singleness speaking to those around you about your love/gratitude of God?
Over and out.
its true. and sadly many of us learn too late that the time we are given ought to be spent doing what is at hand, not wishing for what may become.
ReplyDeleteSarah, I really enjoyed reading this. Thanks for sharing :-)
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